Oh, the blanket
Has run off,
And the bed sheet flew away,
And the pillow,
Like a frog,
Leaped away from me.
As I try to grab the candle,
It just jumps into the boiler!
As I try to get the book,
It just jolts under the cradle!
I would like to drink some tea,
I approach the samovar,
But that little potbelly
Ran from me as from a fire.
Oh, my goodness, Jesus Christ,
What is going on?
Why is everything around me
Speeding like a wheel?
All the boots
Before the irons,
All the pies
Before the boots
And the pies
Behind the irons
While the poker’s
Behind the sash –
Everything is spinning,
And is tumbling around.
Suddenly from momma’s bedroom,
Limping and bowlegged,
The washbasin runs out
And it shakes its head:
Oh you filthy, oh you dirty,
Unclean little piggy!
You are blacker than a chimney-sweeper,
Take a good look at yourself:
There’s a blacking on your neck,
There’s a blotch under your nose,
And your hands are such a mess,
That you have lost even your pants,
Oh, your pants! Oh, your pants!
You have lost even your pants.
Early in the morning dawn
Little micies wash their faces,
So do kittens, so do ducklings,
So do beetles, so do spiders.
You’re the one who didn’t wash
And a dirtling you remain,
And your boots and stockings fled
From your little dirtling self.
I am Washbasin the Great,
I’m the famous Washtoholes,
I’m the leader of all washbasins
And commander of the sponges!
If I come to stomp my foot,
Calling out for all my soldiers,
All the washbasins would fly in
And would crowd this little room.
They’d start barking, and start howling,
And start stomping all their feet,
And would give a good head cleaning,
To you, unclean little one -
Headfirst they would dip you in!”
He had hit the copper basin
And proclaimed: “Kara-baras!”
At that moment brushes, brushes
Spluttered like a clapper,
And start rubbing me
“Washing, washing the chimney-sweeper
Cleaner, cleaner, cleaner, cleaner!
Chimney-sweeper will be, will be
Clean, clean, clean, clean!
Now the soap has jumped right up
And had clutched on to my hair,
Started wriggling, and lathering,
And stinging, like a wasp.
I darted from the ravenous sponge
As if running from a stick,
But she followed, followed me,
Down the Sadovoi, down Sennoi.
I ran to the Tavric Garden,
And had jumped over the fence,
But she’s speeding right behind me
And is biting, like a she-wolf.
Suddenly, coming towards me,
Is my good old, favorite Crocodile.
He was walking down the alley
With Totoshka and Kokoshka.
And the sponge, as if a jackdaw,
He had swallowed like a jackdaw.
And then he started growling
Started stomping his feet
“You had better go on home,
And had better wash your face,
If you don’t I’ll swoop you down,
I will trample you and swallow you!”
And I started running down the street,
I came running back to Washbasin, again.
I kept washing without end,
Washed off all the blackings
And the ink
From my unwashed face
And so now the trousers, trousers
Had jumped back into my hands.
And the pies had followed them:
“Won’t you eat me, my dear pal!”
And right after came the sandwich:
Jumping right into my mouth!
Now the book had turned around,
And the notebook had returned,
And at once the grammar started
Dancing with the arithmetic.
And now Washbasin the Great,
The famous Washtoholes,
Leader of all the washbasins
And commander of the sponges,
Ran up to me dancing,
And had said while kissing me:
“Now I love you,
Now I praise you!
Finally, you dirtling,
Washtoholes is pleased!”
Surely, surely you should wash
Every morning and every evening,
As for unclean
Shame for shame!
Shame for shame!
All hale the fragrant soap,
And the fluffy towel,
And the tooth paste,
And the thick comb!
Let us all wash, and splash,
Swim, dive, and roll
In the tub, in the washtub, in the trough,
In the river, in the stream, in the ocean, -
In the bathtub, in the bathhouse,
Always and everywhere –
Eternal glory to water!