Your eyes are locked and look above
At the ceiling as you lie.
You’re waiting for the one you love
As you slowly die.
You cannot seem to understand
The presence of your mind,
And those people standing by your bed
So sad and teary-eyed.
You find your senses keen and sharp
But you cannot move.
There’s something gentle on your hand
You feel the warmth of her caress
And wish you could touch back.
The body you had once possessed
Is unmovable and stuck.
All attempts at speaking words
Keep dying as you try.
You try to hurt to show you care
But find you cannot cry.
If only you could talk to her
And look her in her eyes,
Your words would sing her heart to sleep
As you say goodbye.
Her touch is fading, so is your heart
The lights are dimming too,
You reach out for the light above
As the black envelopes you.
An instinct surges you ahead
From that darkened room.
Your claustrophobic panic rages
As it leads you to your doom.
You know it guides you to your death
So you scream with all you've got.
You beg your God to release his grasp
And give you one more shot.
“But it’s your time” God says to you,
"Don’t be afraid my son.
I cannot let you live forever,
There’s so much you have done.”
“Accept your human fate, and sleep,
And give your soul to me.
I made your soul, gave you a chance
To live for me, you see.”
“But you betrayed me with someone,
You thought I’d let you free?
I am the ruler of everything,
All that you see is mine, indeed.”
"You thought you could escape
And live forever just like me?
Oh, no! You were mistaken
And foolish to think you'd be set free."
"Sure, I created love,
But love for me is first!
I won't accept a rivalry,
Such blasphemy's the worst."
You're petrified of the words you hear,
How can all this be true?
How could this God be vengeful thus?
You really had no clue.
But suddenly the pieces fit
And everything's revealed.
All of the horrors of this world
So masterfully concealed.
And everyone is doomed like you
To die and not survive.
You knew it all your precious life
That no one leaves alive.
And then you muster all your strength,
And ask almighty God:
"How can you be so narcissistic,
So ruthless, fucking God?"
"Why do you need me, oh so much?
Is not my love free will?
I do admit I loved her so,
Much more than you I love her still."
"You'll never take my soul,
You see, it is my own possession.
I choose to live forever free from you,
And love her with a passion."
"I'll never let you have my love,
My life or dignity.
I will remain the same forever
And fight you endlessly."
"You may be all knowing and all powerful,
And I should fear you most,
But I don't fear a goddamn thing,
Nor you, nor what it costs."
"Release me from your forsaken grasp,
And I'll return to her.
I do not care who you think you are,
For me you're nothing more."
"I'll fight forever, what will you do?
Completely erase me?"
Oh, no! No! I existed and will exist.
I will rage on you see."
"If only you don't send me back to her,
I will become like you.
I will destroy mankind to spite you.
Oh, I can be vengeful too!"
Your fury's rageful cry is heard
From depths of infinity.
You run from crashing walls of flames
All of the peace the heavens knew
Wiped out and leveled to the ground.
A path revealed in your new world,
So quiet there's no sound.
You keep on running towards your room
To jump back in your life.
The heavens fused with hell and earth,
You have created life.
You feel the air flow to your lungs,
And blood engulf your veins.
The twitching cracks your once dead joints,
Releasing all the chains.
All of your body burns with fire
As you release a breath.
You're born into this world again,
But this time with the truth.
Sensations scurry back to you,
You feel that perfect being.
Her tear-soaked cheek rests on your hand,
She never stopped believing.
You have returned to her from hell,
A heaven's been destroyed.
You are now free to be forever,
Your love can't be destroyed.
© Philipp Ponomarev